Wednesday, March 16, 2011

RIP Mommy-Salami!! 08.04.48 - 03.08.11

Sorry, I have been MIA.  This is going to be a cross-post from my other blog, as well.  My mom has been battling colon cancer (specifically anal cancer) for almost the last 2 years.  A few weeks ago, the doctors decided, that there was no more that they could do for her since her cancer had spread to brain and our family began working with hospice to make her final days comfortable and peaceful at home.

Her health started deteriorating really fast and so, I decided to go funeral clothes shopping on Sunday, March 6th.  After I got my outfit, my friend and I continued shopping and while we were in Baby Gap, I received a call from my sister telling me that she thought I should come to my parents house (about 1 hr and 15 minutes from my house).  She said mom was slipping fast, going in and out of consciousness and her breathing was becoming more labored.  My sister said she also just needed me there for support, as she has been my mom's main caretaker this whole time (and working a full time job!).  So I drive home, pack a bag really fast and get on the road.

When I got there, it was a sad sight. I had just saw my mom a few days before, and she had lost even more weight, her kidneys were shutting down and she was almost comatose.  I was able to have short conversations with her and tell her that she didn't need to hang on.  We were all going to be ok.  I ended up staying in town and kept a bedside vigil over her that night while I let everyone else sleep.  I was able to hear her mumble some words into the night and it looked like she was talking and reaching for someone.  Whether you believe in spirits or not, I do.  And I believe she was talking to my grandparents (her parents).

Things stayed the same for about the next day, but on Tuesday, everyone on my husband's side of the family, was in town for his sister's birthday and I planned on joining them for dinner.  I needed a break from the stress and the restaurant was only 5 minutes away, so I figured if anything got worse, I could leave real fast and be back to my mom's side.  About an hour before I was to go, I could see she was getting worse, and 5 minutes before I was to leave, she should signs of rapid deterioration.  At that point, I decided that I didn't want to leave my mom and opted out of dinner.  I am so glad that I did.  We all stood around her, said our goodbyes and kissed her and we all held hands and prayed for her (she is very religious).  Things were remaining the same, so we all decided to start looking at old pictures (she loved doing this). 2 of my brothers continued to stay at her side.  We were all enjoying the memories of them, when my brother ran out of the room telling us we needed to come now, that she was going.  Mom passed peacefully, surrounded by her husband, kids, sister and granddaughter at about 8:36 p.m. on March 8th.   Even in death, she looked beautiful and peaceful.  She was 1 day away from the 2nd anniversary of her diagnosis.

My mom and her family have always had a love for wind chimes.  About 30 minutes (or less) before she passed, we heard her wind chimes go off very loudly.  The night was a nice, calm evening.  My siblings and I truly believe that was her spirit leaving her body and her way of showing she was going.

So many people came to her visitation and funeral.  I was touched to see and hear the stories about her from so many different walks of life.  She is a saint and before she left, I asked to her watch over my children and be their guardian angel.  I know that she is keeping her word.  In fact, the one thing that she did before she died, will forever be etched in my mind.  My 2 children came into the bedroom to say good-bye, and as soon as she heard her voices, her eyes popped wide open and she attempted to sit up!  This is when she was in and out of consciousness and you could tell she really didn't have any vision left.  You know someone is dedicated and so in love with their grandchildren, when even on their deathbed, they are literally trying and fighting to be with them!  My mother was and still is the most courageous, strong, positive, determined, dedicated, faithful, amazing, beautiful and wonderful person I have ever met!  She is my hero!

It is ironic that she passed in March, which is colorectal awareness month.  So in her honor, I urge everyone to wear blue this month!  Sleep in Heavenly Peace, Mom.  Until we meet again...XOXO


  1. So sorry for your loss! I lost my mother 9 years ago and know how hard it is to loose your momma. You and your family are in my prayers.

  2. Thank you so much, Jen. I am sorry for your loss, also. Even 9 years later, I'm sure it's just as hard to be without her!

  3. Aw Mary, I'm so sory for your loss. It looks like you're handling it very well and with such grace. I'll be sure to wear some blue for you and your mama today <3


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